It was an ordinary day, much like any other. The good people of the small country market town went about there business much as they would on any other July Morn. The young children swinging their satchels, walked to school drenched in the heat from an early morning sun, while their parents made themselves ready for the day ahead. The shops busied themselves readying for opening as usual, while the Marketeers in earnest eagerly began to set up their stalls in the square.
No-one could of foreseen what lied ahead for those unfortunate enough to have to travel even just few a miles out from that sleepy, peaceful Cambridgeshire hamlet.Some Tossers closed the M11!!!!
My trip to work at present, as I'm sure both
my regular readers will know involves travelling some eighty five miles from a St.Ives
(Oh Oh I can see my flat in that Video :o) ), to Northern Kent, and a considerable distance of this is on the M11... (Said above motorway, that was shut!)
So lets begin the yarn, an actual blow by blow eye witness account of the complete incompidence, brought to you by the Highways Agency and the Essex Police Constabulary... Enjoy...
Right, so there I was, sitting at home threatening the kids, when I heard this loud knock at my door, it was the Piranha Brothers. Everyone feared Doug Piranha, this was largely due to his merciless use of sarcasm, dramatic irony, metaphor, pathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire, oh and just the occasional use of thermo nuclear devices... (Ummm... I have absolutely no idea where that one sprang into my memory from :o) )
OK, the sign "Motorway Shut" directed us all down an exit road off the motorway. Another, "Diverted Traffic" showed the alternate route, not that much indication was required, the considerable volume of queuing traffic filtering off the Motorway and snaking its way into rural Essex on a single carriageway A road was somewhat of a dead give away.
All appeared to be going well for the first ten miles or so until another "Diverted Traffic" sign seemed to be causing some drivers a reason for concern. Ahead of me I could see many vehicles ignoring it and not making the suggested turn, others though, including a high proportion of Heavy Goods Vehicles where taking the suggested route.
Not having a map freely available to me, I could only do as recommended, I followed the sign along with the majority of my fellow 'Divertees'. This, which would soon be illuminated to me, was a big mistake!
It appeared that the last diverted traffic sign was in situ not for the closure of the Motorway, but in fact for the closure of a much smaller minor road located not far from the motorway, but in no manner connect to it.
And so it was, I found myself virtually trapped, stationary on a single track B road (with passing points though!), along with hundreds if not thousands of other fellow travellers. HGV's, caravans and cars all stuck, completely stationary with the queue stretching for tens of miles onwards through minor roads. Not able to move at all, forwards, backwards, turn around or exit from the small windy narrow country lane, completely ensnared (In my mind I envisage this massive seizure being caused by a small family of ducks attempting to cross the lane to enter a village Pond, where upon a whole torid of Japanese tourist swiftly exited their tour bus to record this quintessential English Kodak moment!), but it was more likely coursed by just a single vehicle attempting to travel in the opposite direction! Anyway's, no-one was going anywhere, ever, it was a complete farce! This was the day the world stood still.
Well, when I say 'No-one' obviously I didn't include myself in that statement, I meant all the other countless poor sods that had been mis-directed in life. Fortunately for Moi, the Gods had dictated that I was to ride one of my motorbikes that morning, so I just did a quick huey, turned around and travelled back the five miles or so dodging in between Artic's and killer Hawthorn Bushes up the cramped and somewhat incapacious lane and rejoined the correct, un-indicated route :o)
I can only assume now some twenty four hours later that the Red Cross have managed to fly in supplies of food (Orange sauce obviously ;o) ), and blankets to all those tricked and still trapped with no-where to go. And that maybe the Army have managed to air lift out at least some of the youngest, the old and the infirm, because unless you were on two legs or on two wheels, you just weren't going anywhere!
Have a good weekend folks, and maybe just spare a moments thought for those people trapped yesterday in the Essex countryside, who were making there way to Stansted Airport to meet their holiday flights, all of whom for certain would of missed them due to the inept actions of the Authorities.
Confused From Cambridge
I Blog There4 I Am
Piranha Brothers... Uninitiated... Here
.... LOL :o) @ Spinny Norman in Pt.2).