A Guide To Zen

Just a quick guide for all you out there today that need a refreshing look at life, this with the Aid of a few simple Zen Rules...

Sex is like air, it only becomes important when you aren't getting any.

A Closed mouth gathers no feet.

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a flat tyre and a broken fan belt.

The Darkest hours come just before dawn. So if your going to steal your neighbours milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Remember no-one is listening, until you fart.

Have you ever lent someone twenty quid and never seen them again? It was probably worth it.

If you think no-body cares if your dead or alive, try missing a few mortgage payments.

Good Judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Generally speaking you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.

Some days we are the fly, some days we are the windscreen.

There are two theories on how to win an argument with a women. Neither of them work.

Experience is something you don't gain until just after you need it.

The most wasted day of all is one which you have not laughed....

Hey, I thought some of them were quite amusing :o)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am