The Gold Fish (Old But Good)

A joke thats reminiscent of Thursday Nights... :-)

Two guys Fred and Dobby are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar ... The two guys start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

Fred: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Dobby: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

Fred: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Fred and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him....

Fred: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession

Fred: - Oh! What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example.... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Fred: - Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Fred: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Fred: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Fred: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ... built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Fred: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Fred: - Yep! Five times a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not m@sturbate very often?

Fred: - Do what? Not me mate!

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Fred: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Fred: - I see! That's pretty impressive ... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Fred returns to his mate.

Dobby: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Fred: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Dobby: - What's that then?

Fred: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Dobby: - Nope

Fred: - Well then, you're a w@nker.


Ciao Ciao
Confused From Chichester

I BLOG There4 I Am

Losing my religion

"Life... Electric Word Life... It means forever and that's a mighty long time... But I'm here to tell you there's something else... Work!"

I have accidentally joined what I had consider to be a very lucky group of people.

Who are they/me? Which 'Cult' have I been inaugurated into? Well, it's a faction of our society as rare as rocking horse shit, individuals that actually 'Enjoy' their job! Yes, you heard me right, 'Enjoy'!

The frightening and frankly disturbing fact about this anomally is that I hadn't noticed it happening, it must have just sneaked up behind me [Probably when I was pissed... it had plenty of opportunity!]

But the real disturbing conundrum with the whole situation is what has brought this on? Is there a remote possibility that its been caused by the fact that I'm having to work damn hard at the moment to keep the current project on schedule [late but on schedule ;-) ]... surely this can only be a coincidence, because at the moment all I feel is stressed and tired! [No, don't give me that work hard, satisfaction bullshit!]

This just can't be normal... Isn't work meant to be a means to an ends... [The ends being to earn enough wonga to have a good time]... We're not really meant to 'Enjoy' this part are we...?

Answers on the back of a stamped address envelope please...

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Chichester

I Blog There4 I Am

Flambe Grenouille

The observant amongst you might have noticed I only have two types of Blog entries. Either an attempt of sorts at a serious comment on social issues, or a meaningless mumble about, well fcuk-all really. This is the latter.

OK who stole the weekend? Yep, as per usual it went far to quickly, again :-(

A good time was had Friday night over indulging on miscellaneous 'Western' style food offerings and beer at a good friends birthday bash. Then early Saturday morning RB headed of 'Up-North' for the weekend visiting her family and friends, leaving me 'Home Alone'...

So 'Home-Alone' all weekend, did I live it up drinking all night Saturday and Sunday Morning? Did I find some rave going down and indulge in copious quantities of illicit substances getting totally smashed out my head? Or did I maybe nip on the Euro-Star and spend the weekend rampaging through the streets of Paris setting cars alight?

Nope, none of them! I'm sad and must be getting old! I stayed in virtually all weekend and chilled out! Jesus, stayed in and 'Chilled Out'... 'Fcuk' next thing you know I'll be listening to the 'Archers' with my hard boilded eggs and copy of the Telegraph on a Sunday morning! [It's bad enough being a closet Radio 4 'Today' and 'PM' listener already!]

But in my defence I must add that I did do some constructive things. For instance I research and booked a City Break for RB and myself to Barcelona in December [which seemed to take hours after I'd pounced around reviewing all the hotels the city had to offer], and I did spend a more than is healthy length of time completing a new video game :-) [I also manage to fit in some really good take-aways :-) ]

Oh and then there was the Rugby... Fantastic match if your weren't Welsh :-) [Must admit here to having more than a slight allegiance to the Kiwi's and the jury is still out on who I'll be supporting at Twickenham!]

So there you have it, that's where my weekend went and I must say I do feel a lot more relaxed for it :-) [Though it is a shame I didn't think of helping the 'Blazing Frogs' until now ;-)]

Ciao Ciao
Confused from Chichester

I BLOG There4 I Am