Look What I Found :o)))

Gerald :o))))



I was looking for 'The Gay Christian' Sketch... Ohhh Found that to... :o)))



So So Good... So heres a couple more :o)))))





Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am

Well it made me laugh :o)

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said, as an observant Orthodox Jew, that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including th hair around their temple, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev.20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


OK OK I'll get me coat
Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am

I feel a purchase coming on :o)

:o)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am

It's arrived... :O)

Umm... Now refresh my memory here, didn't I start this new Job back in February? Ohh yes, wasn't the order for my Company Car placed then... Ummm Yes... What date is it now? Jezz.... But on Wednesday it finally arrived.... :o)

Anyways... Here she is...

Toyota Avensis... (The T180 top of the range model of course ;o) With all the toys, Sat.Nav. blah blah blah... ohh and mustn't forget the "Darkened grille with chrome effect" ;o) )

So first impression... Not a bad drive... BIG, but Toyota have stolen the 180bhp Lexus Diesel engine and put it in her so she got a little bit of Poke :o) Slight understeer round the tight bends (110mph+), squirms a tad under heavy breaking, not terminal though, and there's a BIG button to turn the bloody traction control off :o) And... £8K cheaper than the equivalent (slower), BMW!!! (I hate those bloody Germans! ;o) )

So was she worth the wait? Well apart from having 50% too many (17-inch 5-spoke smoked alloy) wheels, I guess so ;o) (The only good thing with 4 wheels is 2 motorbikes ;o) )

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I AM

Because I'm worth it :o)

OK so I know I'm setting myself up for a torrid of abuse here but...!!!

Because I'm worth it, I've just invested in a custom made Saddle for Eloisa to keep my Tush (backside, rump, butt, heinie, buttocks, derriere, posterior, butt, arse), baby soft :o)

Complete with 10mm Gel inserts in the main section and for the pillion, this saddle is made to measure.... :o)))

There you go... Let the flood gates open! (No I wasn't referring to my Piles ;o) )

Be Nice To Your Bum :o)

Amicitia

'There isn't much better in this life than finding a way to spend time in conversation with people you respect and love. You have to carve this time out of your life because you aren't really living without it.' - Real Live Preacher

A friend called me to day, out of the Blue, for no real reason but to chat and catch up even though it has only been ten days since I saw them last. This phone call lasted only a ten minuets or so, but it got me pondering. It's a strange feeling, for the first time in my entire life, moving up to Cambridge has meant I am not surrounded by my friends. There's a Czech Proverb that came to mind 'Don't protect yourself by a fence; but rather by you friends', and that's exactly what I have done all my life, valued my friendships.

I guess it hard to come forward with our friends and tell them how much we love and appreciate them, and in my case miss them close by to spend time with frequently. Sometimes it's awkward to express feelings like these because it's not be common practice. We might even feel embarrassed to tell them, or even fear this will embarrass them.

But never the less, we will have moments when we realise how lucky we are to know these people when want to express to them our gratitude. For sticking by us even though we're no longer geographically close to them, for taking the time to write that email asking how we're doing, or just a quick 'Hello' text or even a phone call, all these things touch us; secure us; and make us feel complete.

'The friendship that can cease has never been real' - Saint Jerome

So to all you back there on the South Coast; and a few in Stratford; a mushy moment... Thanx all for still being there, I do appreciate it :o)

Take it easy folks, and of course; keep it sleazy ;o)

'When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.' - Japanese Proverb (F**k I'm knackered!!! DF, I'm denying ever knowing you ;o) )

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am


Oh a quick footer then... I'll leave you with a few words from Dame Edna... "My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia."

Say Hello to El'G

Eloisa has got a little sister... Ladies and Gentlefolk, may I introduce to you EL'G :o) (LR, obviously I'm not inferring your a Lady it was just a generalisation, don't take any offence ;o))

Hehehe... Silly Grin Time :o))) (Well there will be this weekend when I pick her up!)

The Honda VFR800Fi... Which means nothing to none of you I know (and me come to think about it!), but she is an awesome bike!

And for the benefit of The Bognor Blade, before he starts, shes quick... Really quick! More than capable of breaking every speed limit in 2nd Gear!

00-60mph - EL'G : 3.3secs - Lamborghini Murcielago : 3.6secs - Merc C 220 CDI : 11.7!
0-100mph - EL'G : 7.8secs - Lamborghini Murcielago : 8.7secs - Merc can't get to 100mph!

So why do I need another bike I here you all cry... Well at the moment I'm totting up 160 miles nearly every day travelling to and from a Clients site and having to contend with the rush hour traffic on the M11, the M25 and the Dartford crossing... Now obviously I have the use of my company car, but the current record for the longest duration taken to achieve this on four wheels stands at six hours forty five minuets... On a bike the average is two hours twenty mins... (It's a No Brainer! Four extra hours down the Pub or in Bed!)

Take Eloisa? I Have been; and she loves it, but I'm clocking up to many miles on her and I'm trying to keep her mileage down for touring... EL'G sole purpose is to eat those Motorway Miles up every day... (Oh and maybe have a bit of fun at the weekends :o) )

400 million spermatozoa and I filtered the fastest, it's in the genes ;o)

Ciao Ciao
Life is not about how Fast you ride, or how Far you travel, but about how well you bounce!
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am

Lee Majors Eat Your Heart Out!

And just when you thought that the CGI Hollywood stunt teams had gone to far, to unrealistic... Bollywood is please to present, for your entertainment pleasure....

Well it made be laugh :o) (Are all tractors in India Red? :O) )

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am