Llamas, Iguanas and Michael Flatley

The B'stard thing spat at me! The Llama that is...

It was the Robo-babes Birthday Saturday; time to submit to all her Whims and plan a weekend of folly.

After a wee Drunken Birthday celebration Friday night in Chichester with friends [Jesus I do talk a lot of Bollox when I'm pissed, sorry Big Boy], it was all systems go for the Mayhem Mystery Tour of Sussex.

First place Staunton Park, a petting zoo kind of thing rolled into botanical gardens with a large lily pond.

Now RB being the 'Nature girlie' she is, loves this kind of place, upfront and in your face cute and cuddly animals. [Not really my cup of tea unless you get to choose which one you want to eat for supper ;-)]. So we had the 'full-on' experience, Goats, Ducks, Chickens, Pigs, Cows, Rabbits, Guinea Pigs, and Sheep etc. Get right in there watching, stroking and feeding.[Ever wondered if these places would give you the food if everyone stopped buying it? Surely they've got to feed the animals anyway?... Oh silly me, they'd just put the price up for entry... :-/ ]

Bestest thing? [Ok in my opinion, RB liked the Guinea Pigs, oh incidentally, her Guinea Pig impression is spot on]. Yep a family of field mice were squatting in the Rabbit shed :-) They were awesome, living it up like it was Christmas, scampering around stealing the rabbit's food :-) Obviously no one had told them they we're next door to the Barn Owl enclosure, but hey ;-)

Oh, then there was the Llama that spat at me when I went to stroke him... Of course he quickly high tailed it out of there after my expletive enriched reprimand ... Not! [Oh, apparently you're only allowed to stroke the llamas not poke them in the eyes with big sticks after they spit at you...]

Saturday Evening...

I'm beginning to dread going out for dinner... If anything can go wrong when dinning out, it has for me recently. From being 'refused dinner', to being given someone else's, to just not picking the right places to eat... [Never ever order a steak from the 'Waverly' unless u like it fcuked... By fcuked I mean cremated and the ashes delivered on ceramic plates rather than in a ceramic urn, even when u've requested Medium-Rare repeatedly on several occasions to a chef who had obviously missed his return seat on the 'Sammy Sunshine Bus' back to 'Retard Chef School' and was just filling in for a while.]

But this evening was spent in a very nice restaurant in Emsworth... 36 On The Quay.
Exquisite Tucker, really really enjoyable. First class, and not a disaster waiting to happen anywhere... [Completely contrary to what some jumped up, over opinionated food critic in the 'Telegraph' might tell you.]

Sunday...

A Butterfly, Bird, Garden..? Oh I don't know what it was! All I can say is it appeared that the Gardener had died 10 years previously and they hadn't yet replaced him. But they did have the 'Noah's Ark' animal rescue centre attached.[You getting the animal Theme here? ;-)]. Now you've seen thirty Guinea Pigs the previous day so its hard getting excited at another 100, but they also had Tortoise [pronounced Tor-Toit-ise], rabbits, ducks, chickens [No it was a different place honest!], but to top it off, Reptiles... And I love reptiles... Big Boa's, Pythons, Tarantulas and Lizards, all rescued from twats that didn't realise Iguanas get real Big!!! And housed in very good conditions... I was very impressed, even if I couldn't feed them... [I've always fancied [No not bilblically], a chameleon].

The weekend was completed all bar a few games of Cranium... Designed for 4+ players, but achievable by two with a little improvisation and cheating :-) I must say, my Michael Flatley dancing by bending my knees 90-degree forward charade was remarkably good, if not a little painful.

Anyway, happy birthday babe... :-)

Oh and a Big thank you to the person who will remain nameless, but know who they are :-)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Chichester

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