Answers Arent At The Back

Monday, June 25, 2007

Horizons Unlimited...?

So this I guess is the statuary, what I did on my holiday post... (OK more long weekend than Holiday...) OK then, this is the what I did on my Long weekends break away to the Horizons Unlimited Annual UK Meeting Blog Entry...

OK are you all sitting comfortably? Good, so I'll begin...

Well Biggest Bonus of the Long weekend was that I got to meet one of my Hero's, which all things considered can't be a bad thing now can it :o)))

The Hero then? Ummm... You've never heard of him... Bet'ya?

OK the chap is called Austin Vince... (Please resist the cheap Austin Powers gags here people, this guy is a serious Hardcore adventure motorcyclist.... Alright just zip it. Zip it, zip. Ladies and gentleman of the jury Ex-zip-it A.. Would you like to have a suckle of my zipple? Zip. Zip, Zip it, zip it)

(Sorry I don't know what came over me then, I also made a Marzipan Voodoo effigy of the Fonze while I was in a coma after smoking some Peruvian prayer hash... But at the end of the day can anyone honestly say they haven't done that?)

NOOOOO Not that Austin... Austin Vince...!!! Now you want me to tell you why he happens to be one of my hero's don't you (just to try justify your ignorance ;o) ). OK Austin Vince was one of the original organiser of 'Mondo Enduro'!!! :o)

What? What do you mean you've never heard of 'Mondo Enduro'? Oh FFS boys and girls where have you been all your lives, do I have to explain everything to you!

OK 'Mondo Enduro'... In 1994, seven guys decide down the pub (where else?) to motorcycle around the world by the longest route possible. Before departure, not one of them has ever repaired a punctured tyre, They fail to get sponsorship, travel insurance, and most of their travel visas. 44000 miles on Bikes... All filmed by themselves on a couple of little Cenni Cameras, a later cut even managed to get aired on the Discovery channel... Official Web Site here... (Books and DVDs if your remotely interested), totally hardcore, no Ewan and Charlie flash BMW's with massive budgets, just normal guys doing an insane trip on motorbikes.

Anyways, Austin, after completing the 'Mondo' trip he then decided to do it all again... Why? I have absolutly no idea... But massive respect to him... OK so he is a complete 'Fruit Loop' but what the heck... I think he's even made it as an actor now onto the TV Channel 4!

So that's Austin, And I've met him :o) (And I'll stop now because I am completely aware that I'm beginning to ramble on just a bit!)

I can't really remember much else about the four days, I'd had a few sherbets :O)

Ohhh It rained... A Lot...

OK OK I remember lots, but I don't really want to bore you lot with the Blah Blah Blah of what happens when you put 500 motorcycle travellers in the same camp site, yep your right... you have to queue at the bar!

Instead I think I'll bore you all with some Pictures of Eloisa in her latest guise and some of the Meeting, the cooking and the rain!

So there you go then folks, that's about it... If I think of anything remotely interesting I'll let you know... (Ohh buy the 'Mondo Enduro' DVD, totally awesome :o)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I AM

3Comments:

gemmak said...: Hey....what about 'Mrs. Powers', the inimitable Lois ;o)

Zip zip...funny...big! :o); 6:28 pm
Anonymous said...: Hi, It's Lee the guy with he massive limp :) What a sponker of a weekend, The highlight had to be watching Austin my sides still hurt like Hades.

Ride safe.; 12:14 am
Anonymous said...: Austin Clive. Not the founder and leader of the militant wing of the Salvation Army? :o) (Sorry couldn't resist the AP Gags).; 10:30 am

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"I know why you're here. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer...."

**********

D: "Where is everybody, Hol?"
H: "They're dead, Dave."
D: "Who is?"
H: "Everybody, Dave."
D: "What, Captain Hollister?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Todhunter?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Selby?"
H: "They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "Petersen isn't, is he?"
H: "Everybody is dead, Dave."
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H: "Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave"
D: "Rimmer?"
H: "He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!"
D: "Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?"
H: "I wish I'd never let him out in the first place."

**********

"I know most of you have been where I am tonight: the crash site of unrequited love. You've asked yourself, how did I get here? What was it about--was it her smile, Was it the way she crossed her legs, the turn of her ankle? The poignant vulnerability of her slender wrists? What are these elusive and ephemeral things that ignite passion in the human heart?...."

"That's an age-old question; it's perfect food for thought on a bright midsummer's night. Hey, you said it best, Will: "Love looks not with eyes but with the mind, And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." Yeah....."

**********

"Well one day I was at home threatening the kids when I looks out through the hole in the wall and sees this tank pull up and out gets one of Dinsdale's boys, so he comes in nice and friendly and says Dinsdale wants to have a word with me, so he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to Dinsdale's place and Dinsdale's there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and two film producers and a man they called 'Kierkegaard', who just sat there biting the heads of whippets and Dinsdale says 'I hear you've been a naughty boy Clement' and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out and I tell him my name's not Clement and then... he loses his temper and nails me head to the floor..."

**********

"If u hold back anything Ill kill ya. If u bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, Ill kill ya. If u forget anything Ill kill ya. In fact ur gonna have to work very hard to stay alive. Now do u understand everything Ive said? Because if u dont, Ill kill ya...."

**********

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. "

**********

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

**********

Love comes when manipulation stops. When you think more about the other person than about his or her reaction to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Horizons Unlimited...?

3Comments:

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