Answers Arent At The Back

Friday, January 18, 2008

No... Fork Handles...! (x by a few!)

Fcuk me that came around quick, again...

Yep, yet another birthday... (Still Thirty something, just). Time, I can't help it, when I think about time I can only ever remember what Groucho Marx said.. "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana" :O) (Oh and its the Title of a marginally good book to, here...). And I know what your thinking, I must get my handsome chiselled good looks because I share my Birthday with the late great Cary Grant right?!

Anyways... Drinkies tonight in St.Ives with a few girls and boys then back down South for the weekend, with entertainment laid on courtesy by some of the old Posse... (Yes I've booked Monday off as holiday to recover :O) ) Hey, very few women admit their age, but even fewer men act theirs ;O)

OK, a Birthday Joke, have a laugh on me...

A Zoophile, a Pyromaniac, a Murderer, a Necrophiliac and a Sadomasochist are all sitting together in the lounge area of a Mental Institute...

The Zoophile says, "I know, lets all shag the cat"
The Pyromaniac says, "Lets shag the cat, then set it on fire"
The Murderer says, "Lets shag the cat, set it alight, then break it's neck"
The Necrophiliac says, "Lets shag the cat, set it alight, kill it, then shag it again"
The Sadomasochist says, "Meow"

What! I really made me laugh... :O)

OK OK I'll leave with you this... Needs sounds... Eddie Izzard... This is so so funny...

"It takes a long time to grow young" - Pablo Picasso.

Ciao Ciao
Confused and just a little bit older, from Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I AM

7Comments:

Anonymous said...: Best wishes dude!
I wasnt aware Cary Grant was a Hairy Arsed Biker & staddled across an African Tin Pot?
chiselled looks LOL:-)When was the last time you looked through a mirror? or did you fall through it LOL:-)
Have A good night OLD MAN hope to see you during the weekend? Greasy Cafe breakfast sunday moring may be?; 8:15 am
Lisa said...: I have to admit that was funny, albeit quite scarey. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! Have a wonderful weekend!; 11:04 am
Anonymous said...: Happy birthday biker boy.

I'm off to buy some matches; I've got an appointment with next-door's cat.; 10:11 pm
gemmak said...: x10??? ;o); 1:52 pm
Michelle said...: Happy belated birthday from down under ;o); 9:39 pm
Fletch said...: Thanx All... :O)))); 10:58 pm
Felicia the Geeky Blogger said...: Happy Belated Birthday from Tejas :); 11:21 pm

Blogroll Me!

The Register - Biting the hand that feeds IT

"I know why you're here. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer...."

**********

D: "Where is everybody, Hol?"
H: "They're dead, Dave."
D: "Who is?"
H: "Everybody, Dave."
D: "What, Captain Hollister?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Todhunter?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Selby?"
H: "They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "Petersen isn't, is he?"
H: "Everybody is dead, Dave."
D: "Not Chen?"
H: "Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave"
D: "Rimmer?"
H: "He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!"
D: "Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?"
H: "I wish I'd never let him out in the first place."

**********

"I know most of you have been where I am tonight: the crash site of unrequited love. You've asked yourself, how did I get here? What was it about--was it her smile, Was it the way she crossed her legs, the turn of her ankle? The poignant vulnerability of her slender wrists? What are these elusive and ephemeral things that ignite passion in the human heart?...."

"That's an age-old question; it's perfect food for thought on a bright midsummer's night. Hey, you said it best, Will: "Love looks not with eyes but with the mind, And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." Yeah....."

**********

"Well one day I was at home threatening the kids when I looks out through the hole in the wall and sees this tank pull up and out gets one of Dinsdale's boys, so he comes in nice and friendly and says Dinsdale wants to have a word with me, so he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to Dinsdale's place and Dinsdale's there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and two film producers and a man they called 'Kierkegaard', who just sat there biting the heads of whippets and Dinsdale says 'I hear you've been a naughty boy Clement' and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out and I tell him my name's not Clement and then... he loses his temper and nails me head to the floor..."

**********

"If u hold back anything Ill kill ya. If u bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, Ill kill ya. If u forget anything Ill kill ya. In fact ur gonna have to work very hard to stay alive. Now do u understand everything Ive said? Because if u dont, Ill kill ya...."

**********

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. "

**********

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

**********

Love comes when manipulation stops. When you think more about the other person than about his or her reaction to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.

Friday, January 18, 2008

No... Fork Handles...! (x by a few!)

7Comments:

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