Answers Arent At The Back

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Jamie 'Fcukin' Oliver

Just a quick post today :-) [I know, apologies to my Fan(s) but its been a busy evening].

So I thought I'd share with you all a little link I've just found...

Simply Fired Dot Com... The collective stories of how people have been fired from their jobs... Most enjoyable reading... [Trust me, have a look, think pizza]...

Oh, an unrelated questions. Why is it that supermarkets never have the things on the shelves that you want? [Conspiracy Theories welcome...] Are Maris Piper Potatoes really that unusual? Would a Galia Melon be asking just a little too much? OK, so maybe I'm getting fastidious. How about some onions maybe?, no dont be silly! Bread? Well of sorts, a selection that would make a half starved duck pour Plum Sauce on his Legs! We're talking about a major 24/7 Sainsbury's outlet here, not a Lidl FFS!!!

Oh and why I'm Sainsbury's bashing... I fcuking hate that Jamie Oliver bloke, he gets right up my nose! Show me a single recipe he's done that Keith Floyd didn't do better twenty years ago, and i'll show you my mothers far superior version! I can't wait for him to show up in my local store and start rummaging around in my trolley... 'I haven't bought anything you little twat, you haven't put anything on the shelves I need, now piss-the-fcuk-off and go shag someone elses dinner!!!' BOP!!!

"Making Life taste better"... my arse!!! Sorry off on one there a bit :-/

And sorry folks, had to put a 'Word Verification' on the comments... I know it's a pain in the arse but I was getting far too much SPAM.

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Chichester

I BLOG There4 I am

10Comments:

gemmak said...: So you had a good time at Saines then I see, heh, no real surprise there, I used to work for em and nothing improved with my departure amazingly.

As for JO, if they stopped with the extortionate fees they pay the upstart they might afford the wage of one or two more shelf fillers. Seems simple and sensible fiscal reasoning to me but then who am I? heh.; 8:37 pm
Anonymous said...: JO bashing! - come on - he has done a lot in making cooking more acceptable to any 'geezer' under 30.; 11:48 am
Anonymous said...: OK I admit it, Ive got problems... having the personality of a sock puppet doesn't help. But then theres my voice, my hair, my weird squinty eyes, my acting, my wife, her acting, and just about everything I says.

Pukka Blog though... Innit...; 12:19 pm
Anonymous said...: Shut it the pair of you - your both tos*ers, couldn't even cook fruit salad.; 11:44 am
Anonymous said...: 1. Place the egg in a saucepan.

2. Run cold water into the saucepan until the water is 1 inch above the egg.

3. Place the saucepan on a stove and cook over medium heat until the water begins to boil.

4. Reduce the heat to low.

5. Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes for soft-boiled eggs or 10 to 15 minutes for hard-boiled eggs.

6. Remove the egg with a spoon or ladle and let it cool slowly, or run cold water over it to cool it more quickly.

Tips: Use hard-boiled eggs to make deviled eggs or egg salad andwiches.; 12:07 pm
Anonymous said...: Whos the Daddy? Yes Me. I inventent cooking. So all you lads just shut it, now!!!

Delia, yes we all know you know how to cook an egg, but your really not contributing anything else to life are you!!! (Football!! Ahh fcuk off)

Jamie, you are a twat, sorry mate thats just how it goes.

Keith I'm very impressed you we're sobber so late in the day.

Rick, real men eat meat not fish, get a life. Oh and do us all a favour, shoot that horrid little dog of yours, comes around my studio on a saturday morning pissing up the side of my units, bastard thing!

And Gary... No nothing is Happening on this BLOG so you don't have to get involved. Besides which, everyone hates you, Poof!; 12:37 pm
Anonymous said...: Whats cooking?; 8:09 pm
Anonymous said...: Come now boys...who's the mummy?

KF,JO,RS...all upstarts, I taught you all you know!; 9:10 am
Anonymous said...: Shit!

There's a 'ghost' in me kitchen what am I gonna go?; 10:14 am
Anonymous said...: For !")$ **"£ you *()$"£$ Bunch of !"£*($%"; 8:03 am

Blogroll Me!

The Register - Biting the hand that feeds IT

"I know why you're here. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer...."

**********

D: "Where is everybody, Hol?"
H: "They're dead, Dave."
D: "Who is?"
H: "Everybody, Dave."
D: "What, Captain Hollister?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Todhunter?"
H: "Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "What, Selby?"
H: "They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave."
D: "Petersen isn't, is he?"
H: "Everybody is dead, Dave."
D: "Not Chen?"
H: "Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave"
D: "Rimmer?"
H: "He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!"
D: "Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?"
H: "I wish I'd never let him out in the first place."

**********

"I know most of you have been where I am tonight: the crash site of unrequited love. You've asked yourself, how did I get here? What was it about--was it her smile, Was it the way she crossed her legs, the turn of her ankle? The poignant vulnerability of her slender wrists? What are these elusive and ephemeral things that ignite passion in the human heart?...."

"That's an age-old question; it's perfect food for thought on a bright midsummer's night. Hey, you said it best, Will: "Love looks not with eyes but with the mind, And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." Yeah....."

**********

"Well one day I was at home threatening the kids when I looks out through the hole in the wall and sees this tank pull up and out gets one of Dinsdale's boys, so he comes in nice and friendly and says Dinsdale wants to have a word with me, so he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to Dinsdale's place and Dinsdale's there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and two film producers and a man they called 'Kierkegaard', who just sat there biting the heads of whippets and Dinsdale says 'I hear you've been a naughty boy Clement' and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out and I tell him my name's not Clement and then... he loses his temper and nails me head to the floor..."

**********

"If u hold back anything Ill kill ya. If u bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, Ill kill ya. If u forget anything Ill kill ya. In fact ur gonna have to work very hard to stay alive. Now do u understand everything Ive said? Because if u dont, Ill kill ya...."

**********

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. "

**********

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

**********

Love comes when manipulation stops. When you think more about the other person than about his or her reaction to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Jamie 'Fcukin' Oliver

10Comments:

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