Saturday, March 31, 2007

Motorcycle thoughts....

Do loud pipes (Exhaust Can), save lives? This is a philosophical question.

The first point is that motorcycles differ radically from cars in their relationship to primary and secondary safety. Primary safety is the capability to avoid hazards. For example, a vehicle with better brakes has better primary safety. Secondary safety is being able to survive accidents. For example, large heavy cars have better secondary safety than pedal cycles. Motorcycles naturally have better primary safety than cars: they can escape through smaller gaps; have better acceleration; have better control ergonomics give effectively faster reactions; have fewer blind spots; the higher head position gives a better view of traffic in all directions; they can move around more to exploit different views. But motorcycles naturally have worse secondary safety than cars.

Now for the philosophy. The attitude of drivers/riders towards safety ranges between two extremes. On the one extreme we have the active in-control person who trusts his wits and skill to avoid accidents. This kind of person wants the best possible primary safety to give the greatest possible scope to his wits and skill. On the other extreme we have the passive victim person who thinks that there is no way to avoid other idiots having accidents involving him, and so wants the best possible secondary safety in order to best survive the inevitable accidents.

The passive victim type will want to drive the largest heaviest most crash-proof car they can get their hands on.

The active in-control type will want a vehicle with the best performance. In cars this is some kind of sports car. The extreme is a motorcycle.

Thus, comparing cars with motorcycles, bikes are naturally suited to the active in-control type who prefers primary safety, whereas cars are better suited to the passive victim type who can't avoid accidents.

So what about loud pipes? The argument in favour of loud pipes is that because you can't avoid all the idiots out there, you are better off making a loud noise to force them to notice you. This is the secondary safety view. The question of why YOU haven't noticed THEM does not occur to this kind of person. This philosophy contradicts the nature of motorcycles, which excel at primary safety at the expense of secondary. We would therefore expect these people (who advocate loud pipes) also to prefer their bikes to lean in other ways towards the secondary safety philosophy. For example, they will be likely to choose motorcycles with unusually low riding positions, motorcycles which are unusually heavily built, motorcycles with poor brakes, cornering, and acceleration.

Is this what we find in practice? Yes -- the loud pipes brigade has an unusually large proportion of Harley owners.

These people are philosophically ill-suited to motorcycling. They would be much better off in motor cars. In fact, if you look at the riding position on a chopped Harley you will notice that it is the same position of body as a car driver... feet forward, leaning back, hands up in front. And we also find that the Harley-owning loud pipes brigade rapidly stop riding their bikes as they get older, and take to driving around in pick-ups with the bike in the back.

Maybe we should get philosophical therapy to these confused people at. If you have a friend or neighbour who suffers from the loud-pipes syndrome, suggest he gets in touch with a therapist to progress the patients through this distressing and dangerous phase of philosophical paradox and get them safely ensconced in large heavy cars where they naturally belong.

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge (With a very quiet Motorcycle ;o) )
I BLOG There4 I Am

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Been tagged!!!

I've been tagged....

No not electronically, though maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea. No, 'Tagged' by another Blogger... (In the Blogging world that means, a fellow Blogger who finds themselves to bored with life to do anything remotely constructive, publishes a list of answers to miscellaneous questions on their own Blog, and then for the privilege of reading their answers you have to publish your own answers to the same questions on your own Blog... It's like a chain letter in cyberspace!)

Anyways, thanks Gem ;o) (She's the one that tagged me!) So here goes...

I have to list five things about me that I haven't ever revealed in my blog. Here are the rules: 1. Get tagged 2. List five things that have not been revealed on your blog 3. Tag five others. (Ummm I'm not cruel enough to do that though... IT STOPS HERE!!! ;o) )


    1. My Favourite song of all time is Jeff Buckley Hallelujah... (Lyrics)

    2. My First love was Vicki RB, she broke my heart, I was only 10, she left me for a right Jock... (A few years later I beat him up, it felt so so good :o) )

    3. I don't believe in 'faith' in God(s). People who have 'faith' lack 'faith' in themselves and others. Religious 'Faith' breeds contempt, elitism and inter-cultural mis-understanding. It's just a form of controlling the masses FFS, get a grip!. (OK Off soap box now... ;o) )

    4. I'm a true socialist... We'll so long as it doesn't cost me to much in taxes ;o)

    5. My Favourite Country I've ever visited is New Zealand... Gods Own Country :o) (See 'Faith' above ;o) ). (Ummm... OK so I might of mentioned that before on this Blog... If I have a Bonus answer then, I 'Dress' to the right ;O)


There you go... (Ohhh Love, Religion (hey Forgive me!;o) ), and Politics...)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I AM

Monday, March 26, 2007

YouTube Vader...

Gotta be the funniest thing I've seen on UTube...

Take it aways Vader.... Episode 1.... NEEDS SOUNDS :o)



And theres more!!! Episode 2



(Apparently theres another 6... so if your desperate enough, nip over to UTube...)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am

A Guide To Zen

Just a quick guide for all you out there today that need a refreshing look at life, this with the Aid of a few simple Zen Rules...

    Sex is like air, it only becomes important when you aren't getting any.

    A Closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

    Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

    The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a flat tyre and a broken fan belt.

    The Darkest hours come just before dawn. So if your going to steal your neighbours milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    Remember no-one is listening, until you fart.

    Have you ever lent someone twenty quid and never seen them again? It was probably worth it.

    If you think no-body cares if your dead or alive, try missing a few mortgage payments.

    Good Judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

    Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    Generally speaking you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.

    Some days we are the fly, some days we are the windscreen.

    There are two theories on how to win an argument with a women. Neither of them work.

    Experience is something you don't gain until just after you need it.

    The most wasted day of all is one which you have not laughed....

Hey, I thought some of them were quite amusing :o)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I'm losing my religion...

"No trace of slavery ought to mix with the studies of the freeborn man" - Plato (Wise man old Plato!)

"We don't encourage drinking"... They were the almost the first words spoken to me after checking into my hotel for a weeks training course. My retort, sharp, quick and I believed reasonably witty wasn't well received... "Trust me, I don't need any encouragement"... no, this quick quip was just returned with a stern look of disdain.

From that point onwards it commenced... I started losing my religion... Humour...

My new job brings a new opportunities and some very expensive training is also required... Ummm... OK, so I'll loosely call it training for the moment, but after surviving the first four days at the 'Training Camp' it's beginning to feel more like rehab! There is a bar of course, but that's located half a mile away in the main Hotel building, and by the time I've managed to cram thirteen hours of classroom study in per day and then finish the evening off with a few hours homework, forgive me if I don't really feel like taking a stroll, to be honest conjuring up the energy to crawl to the bathroom for a pee seems somewhat of a miracle!

So virtually forced rehab it is, Mr Robbie Williams I salute you, now I understand what it is you going through (Detox, easy life you want to try being educated simultaneously!). OK so this might not be the Priory, but it's a pretty close run thing... Partly because the building I never leave, where I live, breath, learn, eat and sleep 24/7 was for a considerable length of time before being utilised as a educational concentration camp, a convent! (Now this figures, this is all gods doing! OK your gracious holy dudeness, I'm sorry, whatever it is I've done to piss you off in this life or any of my others previously I take it all back. His sense of irony isn't lost on me, but this is just taking it way to far!)

OK so maybe it's just me, being honest I'm know I'm not as young as I used to be, and twenty years of a more than decedent lifestyle might well of eroded more than just a few of my limited brain cells (What I like Guinness!). And of course the task in hand, that is of learning, is made even more difficult personally as I have no clear recollection to the last time in my life I actually sustained any form of such intense education, it might well of been my 100metres free style swimming test when I was aged 10!

There are a few upsides off course. The fact that my new employer is paying for this very expensive (well its Microsoft!), course is one of them, but this luxury pales into insignificance compared to the free; all you can eat; constant; virtually intravenous supply of chocolate! (Yes ladies, you did read that right, an endless supply of free chocolate!), and I can't remember finding a Gold Ticket anywhere!

But no amount of chocolate can substitute for a few wee Tots at the end of an evening, that and add to the scenario that for an Ex-convent there's appears distinct lack of any "eye-candy" around here to distract (unfortunitly almost all Tecky's tend to be male, and those that aren't usually look like hermaphrodites!), things are desperate, and I'm far to old to find my calling now, the monastic life is not for me!

But the end is in sight, exams Saturday, and as the first British "Home Run" solider to escape Colditz during WWII, Airey Neave said, before the INLA decided this Hero was a suitable target in the 70's to be killed in a car bomb attack by cowards, "I learnt that the escaper must have absolute confidence in his success"... I will pass, I will pass, I will escape!

Wish me luck folks :o) And if anyone can find any humour in OLAP Cubes please email me fast, because "That's me in the corner"!!!

"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten" - B.Skinner.

Ciao Ciao
The Cooler King ;o)
Confined to Deepest Darkest Oxfordshire Somewhere
I Blog There4 I Am


[NB. Added 22/03/07 (To Late to stop the torrent of email abuse!!!) "unfortunitly almost all Tecky's tend to be male, and those that aren't usually look like hermaphrodites" F**k... Sorry C, you know I think your more Sandra Bullock than hermaphrodite :o) ]

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Eloisa in St.Ives :o)

OK Boys and Girls... Are you sitting comfortably? Good then I'll begin...

For all you Folks back home that don't believe how long, straight and sometimes boring the Roads around my new home town of St.Ives and Cambridgeshire in general can be, heres a quick Video of Eloisa enjoying a blast around in the sunshine last weekend :o)

Link Here... YouTube

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridge
I BLOG There4 I Am

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Fun In a Ford :o)


Veni...


Vidi...


Vici... :o)


And the upside of living in Cambridgeshire, there seem to be a very prevalent amount of very large Fords about :o)

OK lets see all you Girls and Boys with racing bikes, tourers or Harely's try that one! ;o)

Having Fun :o)

Ciao Ciao
Confused From Cambridgeshire
I BLOG There4 I Am